Letters from America – 24/06/2015

My favourite music in the world right now is whatever shite they play on the “positive hits” channel that blares from the free theme park buses our hotel puts on, which obviously we’re going to use because fuck paying $18 for parking!

The great thing about the Jesus rock is that it’s formally identical to post U2/Coldplay rock, barring the odd explicit mention of “Him”; Tom Ewing touched on this recently, but minus the “roll”, rock bends easily towards the mock messianic so why settle for less when you could have the real thing? The great thing about the Jesus pop is that it’s formally identical to Bieber/1D pop, barring the incessant references to “Him”; you don’t need this explained to you, pop’s all about sex and cash and devotion and if you strip one of the two of those out the other two can get on just fine. The great thing about the Jesus hip-hop is its complete formal ineptitude, honestly. They’ve got a guy who does a perfect impersonation of Chuck D’s pitch and tone but he couldn’t flow if you melted him down to a liquid. Their holy mini-Minaj is convincing for four bars but her appearances always stop there, at the exact point where Nikki would put on a funny voice or start speaking pirate or whatever. Weird.

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