TrumpTalk(™): A Tragedy of Our Times

TrumpTalk(™) – A dynamic new form of public rhetoric that transforms the traditional arsehole’s pastime of making loud noises about how everyone else is an idiot into a brutal art; weaponised bullshit; a parping emanation; an arse-Trump.

Excerpt from “A beginner’s guide to TrumpTalk(™)”  When deploying TrumpTalk(™), it is important to forget any attachment you may once have had to reality and to focus instead on achieving an authoritative tone. If backed against a wall, flinging partially chewed bones and fresh faeces at the enemy is acceptable. If pushed on a point of honour, spraying piss into the eyes of your enemy is fine so long as you remain committed enough to call them a “little crybaby” when they try to clear your water from their eyes.

You can take these tips as literally as you want; the only unconscionable action for a TrumpTalker is to admit defeat or uncertainty. Volume is everything, because in this life, you will be heard or you are no one.

Remember: you have nothing to fear except openness and doubt. 

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