The Weegie Board Presents – C.R.E.A.M. part 2

Previously on The Weegie Board: a late night rant from a taxi driver was found to contain sentiments to which our heroes were sympathetic. This week, they find themselves questioning this is part of a wider societal shift…

cream2Hopefully the comic itself is less portentous than that introduction! Like all of the Weegie Board strips, this one was written at speed in order to poke Scott McAllister into action. Like most of them, this two-parter is far too wordy but I enjoy watching myself reveal my prejudices then scour myself for them.

I’m pretty sure that’s what comics people are into, sharing pointless opinions then making jokes about the same, so I expect that Scott and I will be bringing in that Stan Lee money any time now…

Filthy Friday #4

This week’s Filthy Friday ended up being rather more topical than I’d intended, between its counter-resonances with today’s protests about our new stupid porn laws, and its focus on The Filth‘s debt to broadcasting genius Chris Morris at a time when the BBC seem to be paying a lot of attention to him.

Sitting on Santa's Lap For Dummies

On the former point, I hope it’s evident that while this piece features a left-wing critique of porn as labour, it’s not written in the spirit of these absurd rules.  On the latter point, I’d highly advise you to listen to BBC4 Extra’s three hour retrospective on Morris’ work, Raw Meat Radio, alongside their repeats of his Blue Jam radio series.  Failing all that, you could always scour Cook’d and Bomb’d for clips – Morris’ could turn the telling of the time into a mobius strip trip, and I’m still getting my head round the amount of great, early radio work there is out there for me to listen to!

I’ve had a hectic week so forgive me for making this short. By way of compensation, here’s a post on Morris’ ‘Casual Parents’ sketch that was partially cannibalised for this section of The Function of The Filth.

Check back this time next week for the final part of this preview – it’s a bit of a belter!

Independent Rhetoric #2: Proud Scots Anonymous

While I was working up to writing my previous post on the rhetoric of the independence campaign, I put a few feelers out to see if anyone I knew was interested in talking about the language of the referendum – campaign slogans, press sound bites, dramatic headlines, things they’d overheard on the bus, etc.

As my pal Scott can attest – having witnessed my reaction to the arrival of a few fairly graphic comic book panels I’d described in a script but not fully anticipated – I’m a fairly verbally minded sort of guy, so the first response I got took me by surprise by focusing on the use of national iconography during the campaign.

What follows is a transcript of a conversation about the visual rhetoric and branding of the debate, as conducted with a friend who is involved enough in this area to want to remain anonymous.


ANONYMOUS: The adoption of the saltire colours on both sides of the debate was really interesting to watch – ‘Look we’re deffo more Scottish that you are’/ ‘ Naw you’re not, we are!’

I found that the Yes campaign’s use of the Scottish flag with the ‘Yes’ slogan emblazoned on it it in black contrasted with the ‘No Thanks’ cross a little puzzling.


Was it a saltire cross? Was it a ballot box cross?  Were the Yes campaign just quick off the mark to adopt the saltire first? I guess both sides wanted to be viewed as the most Scottish option.

Personally I found both sides’ desperation to appear the most Scottish frustrating as a voter – I am voting to better the future of my country, to make it a better place to live for me and my children. I get that you are both patriotic but I don’t care. I’m not going to cast my vote based on which option is the most Scottish thing to do. Was the referendum not meant to be all about change?

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Future Crimes

futurecrimesThe lucky couple stood
Smiling and shell shocked
Beside the window-shaped
Portrait of the neighbourhood
As it would look if you knocked
A hole between those awful drapes.

The grins they wore
Don’t bear close scrutiny –
Staring up from the photo their eyes
Cry out for something more,
Glaring towards some future mutiny
Not recorded in this well-layered lie.

Look too deep here and you’ll hear a question –
“Are we still in love now, or we just friends who fuck?”

Albums That Weren’t Total Shit in 2014 – Second in a Series!

Luke Haines – New York in the ’70s

A prequel to the latest Taylor Swift album/a tribute in the form of a piss take that manages what we call “the Mudhoney trick” round here, i.e. it somehow sounds even more like a work of severe spiritual devotion for the fact that the devotees in question have their tongues firmly wedged in their cheeks.

Loud Reed Lou Reed.

Cooly G – Wait ‘til Night

The club in the bedroom in the club. Some reviews said it lacked the narrative depth of her previous album, but while you’re in the moment you never mind.

Ex-Hex – Rips

No one sounds like they’re having more fun playing basic-arsed guitar lines than Mary Timoney (aside from maybe John Darnielle, and even then only mid-concert) and here she’s found a couple of girls who’re willing to try and match her riff for riff and kick for kick. Less ambitious than Wild Flag, sure, but it’s less fussy for it – sometimes a girl(/boy’s) just gotta preen, and sometimes that means rock’n’roll.

Owen Pallett – In Conflict

Twelve of the year’s most careful, clever compositions, and one perfect Mountain Goats pastiche for bass, drums and violin. I’ll treasure the former more in the long run but it’s the latter that’s got me through.

Vince Staples – Hell Can Wait

Unlike YG, Vince Staples has skills and stories good enough to stand up with the best of them, and on this brutally short record he’s got the beats to match. Cold like prime Clipse, discordant and disoriented like the first (and, so far, best) Shabazz Palaces album, this is the best observed and least optimistic rap record I’ve heard all year, and even then it’s not quite totally bereft of hope – “Is you feeling amazing?/Yeah I’m feeling the love/Hope I get to take it with me when my living is done.”

Filthy Friday #3

The third preview from my upcoming book The Function of The Filth is now available to read over on Mindless Ones dot com.  This section deals with the character Tex Porneau, who I position as the Michael Bay of pornography, and with The Filth‘s probing examination of the industrialisation of sexual violence.

Another discarded Carlos Segura design; alas, this is ALSO not the cover for The Function of The Filth.

Good gyno-communist that I am, I explore the relationship between violence, technology and capital that is intimated in this preview in more detail during the next section of this chapter, so you can look forward (?) to that next week.

For now, I want to take a moment to talk about covers. One of the problems in writing about a series that was so immaculately designed is that it would feel doubly disappointing to package your commentary in an ugly or half-arsed cover. Seriously – even discarded the discarded, Segura designed test images I’ve been cluttering my Filthy Friday posts with are far better than anything I could ever come up with, so how am I supposed to compete?

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